Randy in Rohan
by N-on-E-mus
Summary: Er...select members of the Lord of the Rings books engage in...activities...umm...yeah.


Randy in Rohan  
  
Disclaimer: Uh....the joy of trying to be disgusting over IM conversations at 3 in the morning....we were deliberately going for this so leaving nasty reviews isn't going to do anything.  
  
Setting: The Long Dong Silver's Hotel in Rohan. Eowyn is cooking in the kitchen when Gandalf rides in on his horse, Shadowfax, naked and sidesaddle, long, grey hair flowing freely from all parts of his body. Eowyn is only wearing a set of pasties and an apron.  
  
Gandalf galliantly rode in on his noble steed, Shadowfax, looking every inch a heroic wizard, his mighty staff erect with magic, arousing the young shieldmaiden of Rohan.  
  
"Why Gandalf," she said, the knot of her apron loosening slightly, "What ever brings you here, to the lovely Long Dong Silvers?" Before he could answer, Eowyn accidently dropped a piece of fish on the floor. "Oops... Silly me, I'd better pick it up and throw it away!" Seductively, she turned, exposing her backside... she slowly bent over, exposing her down there's. Gandalf's eyes bulged in arousal.  
  
As Eowyn did thus, she noticed Gandalf's horse's peculiar features. "Wow, your horse is so....masculine. It's a wonder they don't call him Big John"  
  
"Well," said Gandalf, "He's not the only one packing down under, if you catch my drift." He winked suggestively. As he said this, he slid from Shadowfax's back, and flung his flowing hair behind his back....he slowly reached for his staff...  
  
Eowyn gazed at him with lust, as her apron knot finally gave out, and it crumpled on the floor at her feet, exposing her voluptuous curves. "Oh I want you so bad," she said huskily, "You and your horse."  
  
Gandalf reached for her pastied breasts, and tugged at the tassles attached.  
  
"Please....do be gentle," she said, trying to hide her obvious arousal  
  
Finally, with one final burst of her areola, the pasties popped off and flew across the room hitting a random serving boy in the eye, causing him instant arousal. He immediately came over to join the festivities. Upon closer look he was recognized as Gimli the dwarf, although dwarf wasn't the right word for it, for he was clearly not dwarfed, and he kept those braids tight and right everywhere it seemed....  
  
At this point the horse became antsy so the group had to speed things up a bit. Eowyn grabbed Gandalf's mighty staff and stuffed it into her already moist area. This excited Gandalf more than he could bear. He mounted Eowyn with all due haste as his arousal was reaching its peak.  
  
Shadowfax grew more and more antsy, so, much to the displeasure of Gandalf, he was forced to dismount Eowyn, to tend to the needs of his stiffened stallion. Discovering that he could easily work both individuals, Gandalf's mouth enclosed upon Shadofax, while his penis made it's way for Eowyn....Gandalf removed one staff for place of another....  
  
Gimli felt left out at this point, so he decided mounting Gandalf would be a reasonable course of action.  
  
Eowyn, growing quit uncomfortable with the current situation of her body, flipped over, to give Gandalf a straight shot into her, and also a straight shot for Gimli into Gandalf. Gandalf continued to orally pleasure Shadowfax, which no one really knew why, as the horse was seemingly bored with the wizard.  
  
Shadowfax saw a more interesting venture. Eowyn, situated sexily 'neth him, jolted off of Gandalf, and turned for Shadowfax. Shadowfax pulled out of Gandalf's mighty vacuum of a mouth and turned towards Eowyn....frothy and sweating, he mounted her like a mare in springtime. Eowyn moaned in pleasure...  
  
Within minutes, everyone in the place was writhing with sex though the focus still remained on Eowyn and Shadowfax, as they clearly were having the best sex of all. Even though it was much too large for her, Eowyn gladly accepted it, screaming out words that she did not comprehend, she gave herself to the stallion again and again.  
  
Having finished long ago, Gimli and Gandalf watched in amazement as the huge stallion seemed to never tire.  
  
Suddenly, a tall, handsome man walked in. "Eowyn! Aren't you supposed to be working?"  
  
Eowyn groaned, whether from pleasure or from the realization that the resturant manager had just walked in, none could fathom.  
  
"I believe I'm working.. Working that back, that is"  
  
The manager grinned. "I don't mind, I just want a piece of the action."  
  
Eowyn smiled. "Whatever you say, Araporn...er...Aragorn" Eowyn and Aragorn proceeded to make love on the kitchen counter, knocking knives and forks askew, one of the forks piercing Aragorn's ass, causing him to moan in pleasure. They rolled across dessert plates, causing themselves to be covered in whipped cream and chocolate...  
  
As Gimli and Gandalf watched, they grew more aroused than before. They immediately jumped on the couple and licked the whipped cream and chocolate from their bodies.  
  
Shadowfax then decided to mount Aragorn, as he found him more appeasing than Eowyn...  
  
Within seconds, the writhing mass had capitulated, and they all celebrated with the consumption of a hefty lobster platter and the draining of Sauron's Vitrious jelly, which was used as a dipping sauce for the lobster. And they ate until they could eat no more, and all was good in the land of Rohan.  
  
FIN 


End file.
